One of the great joys - for me - about being the mother of a teenager is that his taste in music has finally matured to a point where we enjoy much of the same music. This is not to say that we listen to all the same bands but we certainly share a good number of favorites.
In my mind I had always imagined that I would have a child that was really into some awful music that I just never wanted to hear. Maybe boy bands or Britney Spears or something like that. I just knew that I would never be able to share my music with my son because music means so much to me. He would end up being one of those white boys that runs around dressed in gansta rap gear. He would have a fascination with Armenian folk songs. Listen only to Polka or Sousa marches. Some way there would be no musical common ground for us.
When my son was younger he liked a lot of the things that all kids his age liked. "Mama Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J was really big. Because we spent a good deal of time together in the car while commuting, he did pick up on some of the songs that were playing on my choice of radio station. He liked "Kiss That Frog" by Peter Gabriel. I think it was because it was, on the surface, a song about a frog. And, God knows, kissing anyone, especially a frog, is hilarious. He also commuted with his stepdad (Husband #2) sometimes. One of our favorite childhood stories comes from their time commuting. Husband #2 had an old mix tape that he played from time to time. Nick seemed to enjoy it and it gave them some time to rock out before school and work. One of the songs on the tape happened to be "Turbo Lover" by Judas Priest. They were driving along one day, jamming to the tunes and singing along when Husband #2 noticed the words my son was singing. My beautiful little boy was singing along with all of his heart: : "I'm a terrible lover!". Husband #2 says it was all he could do to keep the car on the road because he was laughing so hard.
Then, when my son was about 12 or 13, we were driving in the car again and a Nirvana song came on the radio. He listened for a few seconds and then he turned to me and said, "Who is this? It's pretty good." I saw my moment and I seized it. I said, "This is Nirvana. You know that band you like, The Foo Fighters? This is the band that Dave Grohl was in before that." He looked at me as though I had just spoken magic words. From that point on, he paid a little more attention to the music on the radio and he would ask me about the things that interested him. He would talk to me about the bands that he was interested in and I would buy tickets to their concerts and even accompany him sometimes. I would also point out bands that I thought he might like. There was still a lot of stuff that I was never going to enjoy but there was a common ground being forged.
Cut to a few years later and we talk about music a lot while we are in the car. He asks me about a lot of Classic Rock. He listens as I explain that if he likes Deep Purple he really needs to check out Rainbow. He listens to stories of seeing Black Flag, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Black Sabbath and even Judas Priest. Lately he showed interest in John Fogerty which led to a discussion of Creedence Clearwater Revival. He downloads music off of my ITunes playlist. He consults with me at used CD stores as to which Elvis Costello CD he should buy. Which T Rex CD is the best one? These are questions I can answwer with some authority. He asks to attend shows and concerts with me. He comes along when I suggest he might be interested in a show. And, when he is given control of the IPod on our trip to Milwaukee, he actually plays a mix of music that we all enjoy.
Of course, he does not understand my frequent and inappropriate - if short-lived - interest in some rap songs. He is mortified that I know the lyrics to 50 Cent songs and Nelly songs. Gotta keep him on his toes somehow.
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